motherhood

If I go back to bed and wake again, will it be different ?

She was just trying to escape the day. Looking for quiet some solitude.

The beginning of the day started with a diaper full of pee on my leg wrapped in my blankets. The sheets had just been changed Monday – which lead to a long sigh.

Up and at it. It’s 4:53 AM . As she trudges up the stair case to the kitchen, out of no where the 158lbs Tibetan Mastiff knocks her to the floor. “It’s ok mommy. I kiss it and make it better.” Says the 2 year old who needs a diaper and new pants still.

As I turn to go to the kitchen, I realize the 2 year old has been up for a bit, the front window is wide open. Of course I am just in my underwear and bra. Thank god it’s 5 AM and anyone awake is too tired to look in my window.

Being a mom is so joyous …. gotta clock in and work from home.

motherhood

Best Days Ever

My oldest sons – my other children are out here for a bit over a month ! I am so excited, I missed them like crazy.

They are my men my babies minus the babies I have lol. We went to Barnes and Nobles today and bought Habitat for Humanity, we have been playing Apples for Apples 🍎. Which is fun as hell as well. So do you ever just play board games. Family fun night ever ? Movie or music in in background. Everyone laughing and having a blast ❤️. Habitat for Humanity is fun to play with my 16.5 year old and 18 year old sons and my significant other.

Well I am off to where ever it is I go now. Have a great night and thanks for listening to the ramblings !

motherhood

Worthy

I feel most humans need that contact with other humans. I use to crave being away from other humans , I can’t stand all the different ways of being “you”. I distanced myself because I take friendship dear. I am a strange person as well lol. You know you are reading my blog 🤷‍♀️ Seriously though, I am complicated if you don’t like me or know me I am hard to take and still understand. I am worthy of the tolerance you allow though.

Sometimes though you just “fallout”. Even with love and relationships. Currently I love who I am with no one else I love currently, just him. I am though no where near in love with him. Couldn’t even imagine it. I think. Weird realization time. It is what it is. Life is that. You love you hurt you move on.

I am a mom first and foremost that’s always my problem. I should be me, but I am not. I can recognize that fact and most cannot so thumbs up for me. Any others that can see that too. One day it will be me. I have a 2 & 3 year old be a long time lol !

The Covid has brought a lot of time for people to think and get to know themselves and whom they live with. Families become tighter or harder at heart. Big difference spending 24/7 together running hear and doing this and that ….. than spending 24/7 together doing 100% together 24/7.

Makes ya think ….. uh ?

You are welcome.

Anyways that’s my odd thinking of tonight. Enjoy your dreams or days that’s about to begin off to watch some crazy show to give Rene crazy dreams and spawn other odd ramblings of my overanxiousmimd .